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Я не хочу быть алкоголиком

Я не хочу быть алкоголиком

Я не хочу быть алкоголиком! Но об этом надо было раньше думать.
Да не хочу, но сделать уже ничего нельзя, я уже алкоголик хоть и не пью уже десять лет. Порой задумываюсь “зачем я столько времени потратил на пьянство”. Вся моя молодость, пролетела как один умопомрачительный запой и поделила жизнь на до и после.

Что двигало молодым человеком, когда он подносил к губам первый стакан с алкоголем? У всех мне кажется начинается все одинаково, сначала для храбрости, для того чтобы казаться взрослым, для старших друзей в конце концов. А что тут такого? Разве запрещено выпить сто грамм для храбрости? Конечно же нет, и к тому же бокал вина или пива это еще не пьянство.

Вот и я так думал, пока в один момент не понял что моя жизнь может закончится в любой момент, пока я нахожусь в невменяемом состоянии, и я об этом даже не узнаю. Мне стало страшно! Нет не смерти я боялся, боялся что существование мое на этом свете останется незамеченным.

Зачем я живу, для чего? Этот вопрос мучил меня ночами, выживая с похмелья. Сумасшедший страх даже днем, непонятно чего боялся. Я уходил в лес, подальше от людей и только там чувствовал себя в безопасности.

Не буду рассказывать обо всех своих кошмарах, в общем я рад что нашёл в себе силы изменить свою жизнь. Теперь у меня все в порядке есть где жить, с кем и для кого. Все у меня хорошо!

 Меня иногда спрашивают друзья и знакомые – тянет выпить или нет? Отвечу так – Выпить конечно тянет но тяга к моему маленькому сыну к семье к тому чего я достиг за эти годы, никакая выпивка не перетянет. Второй раз я на эти грабли не наступлю.

Серега

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